Ten points
on
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
• Domestic violence is about power and
control.
• It occurs in all socioeconomic and
ethnic groups.
• Domestic violence does not get
better without intervention.
• It passes to the next generation
without intervention.
• It flourishes in secrecy and shame.
• It usually involves a cycle of
abuse-remorse-love-abuse.
• The perpetrator systematically
isolates the victim.
• Domestic abuse is not the fault of
the victim.
• Victims leave an average of seven
times before leaving for good.
• Domestic violence kills.
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You may
be in an abusive relationship if . . .
1. You are afraid to disagree with your partner.
2. Your partner’s temper scares you.
3. Your partner always blames you or others for his problems.
4. Your partner tries to cut you off from your friends and family.
5. Your partner is very jealous.
6. Your partner makes unwanted phone calls or uninvited visits.
7. Your partner follows or checks up on you.
8. Your partner calls you names or yells at you.
9. Your partner criticizes or demeans you, especially in front of other
people.
10. Your partner is unable to express his feelings constructively.
11. Your partner tries to control the way you dress and/or who you see.
12. You are accused by your partner of imagined encounters with others.
13. You have been afraid to say no to sex.
14. You hide things from your partner so not to upset him.
15. Your partner has threatened to commit suicide if you leave.
16. Your partner demands that you account for time spent without him.
17. Your partner throws and/or breaks household objects in anger.
18. Your partner says negative things about your friends and family.
19. Your partner becomes violent after drinking.
20. Your partner has hit, shoved, grabbed, slapped, pushed, or kicked you.
—Source: Deacon Mary Moreno Richardson
Episcopal chaplain in juvenile detention facilities, Los Angeles
Resources:
Family Violence and Sexual Assault Institute
www.fvsai.org
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1.800.656.HOPE or www.rainn.org
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